One balmy Saturday morning, whilst reading the comics, I received an unexpected knocking at my front door. I peered through the aperture in the centre of my door and was unpleasantly surprised. It was a rheumy old man, in a black trenchcoat with a nametag reading "Elder Thomas". I could instantly surmise that this elderly gent was the ruin of Saturday mornings-- the Jehova's witness. I gloomily opened my front door; I knew straight away that this encounter would consume at least two hours of my morning. The man introduced himself and I myself. The man had rather a gentle demeanour for an obtrusive Jehovy. Elder Thomas asked me if he could "Just take a few minutes of your time". I agreed apathetically and then made one of my shoulders comfortable on which to prop my head for a rest. The man droned on rather eloquently about creation and the foundation of the church for what seemed like hours. I didn't care; I was taciturnly standing there saying "Uh-huh" whenever it was required of me.
But I started listening when Tommy broached the subject of Satan! He was convinced, this geriatric gentleman, that my teenage music was the work of the devil, and that I was a sinner by listening to it. I now was taking an active role in this talk. I was certain that this poor delusional fellow had been programmed by the Jehova Czar, or whoever had this neat little racket going. "Now just one minute!" I exclaimed, "I find it rather alarming that you, who have probably survived through several wars, possess the gall to accuse music of committing heinous acts! People's tunneling under the streets to avoid you guys is a clear result of this sort of backwards thinking on your part! If you had issued one speck of progressive reasoning when I opened the door, I may have actually taken you seriously; but now I am shutting the door!" Thomas' face turned crimson. "Not quite yet, my boy. In my life I have seen suffering beyond your level of comprehension! I have lost some of my best friends in wars, and I have killed our 'enemies' blindly protecting my nation's 'freedom'. After that, I could never remain loyal to this country. I searched for answers until I came upon the church to which I now belong. After walking up the nave to the altar, I was in awe. I pledged my allegiance to God then and there because I knew that countries and nations may fall, but religion is fast. Ponder that the next time you pine about your wasted two hours on a Saturday morning." The man left and continued on his route at the next house along the street.